Wishes for My Sister

What would you tell your 15 year old self? If you could go back in time would you change things or keep things just the same? I think about this constantly as I see my sister navigate her life and make decisions that I don't always agree with. Or not do the things that I think she actually should, like getting involved in extra curricular activities so that when she's faced with the question on her college application she actually has something to write. Or that she starts developing close relationships with her teachers. Things I wish I had known at her age.

1. Nothing is permanent. This too shall pass. 

2. Confidence. Don't have it? Fake it. 

3. You're worth it. Remind yourself of this. 

4. Mom is usually right. Not always, but usually. 

5. Don't hold it. Reach out to those you really care about you. You know who they are.

6. Building on #5, friends, (including boys) come and go. Family is always there. 

7. Clean your room. It really will help you feel better. 

I read an article recently, appropriately titled "10 Things I'd tell my 15-year old self" which I immediately sent to my sister. I encourage you to read and think about it.
http://www.elasticwaist.com/2008/07/10-things-id-tell-my-15year-ol.php

College

While it may seem that others are deciding your life for you, learn to distinguish those that are looking out for your best interest from those that are not. Always remember that you are the one to live out the consequences of your actions. You are not rebelling against your mother, your teacher, your sister but hurting yourself. Be self absorbed, self-centered and watch out for your interests. Always do what is best for yourself, what feels right to you. You are the one living your life and you are the one living out the consequences of your actions. Good or bad. You have a responsibility to yourself to be happy.

Confidence

As you already know, I have struggled with  weight for most of my life. When I was young, I was pudgy. Not overweight, but pudgy.  My mother's friends would suggest she put me on a diet, something she did not do due to my age. Besides, she believes in eating healthy and in moderation. As do I. As I grew up, I started to loose some of the 'baby fat' and during middle school, I experienced two glorious years of skinny. Except for the fact that my thighs still touched. Cute clothing fit beautifully and my mother was proud. But most of all, I was confident in my new beauty. I became an extrovert, I made new friends. I was loud and funny, no longer shy to raise my hand in class or dance barefoot middle of the room with my friends during school parties. I stopped observing and started participating in life around me.

High school came and I started to gain weight again. This didn't stop during college. Or when I started work. Each phase of my life brought on different reasons to gain weight. In school, the weight was due to being away from home. I wasn't eating mom's healthy homemade food anymore. At work, I didn't have as much time to work out. Oh yes, and there seemed to be sweets everywhere in the office. I was shy. I would refrain from certain social situations because I didn't consider myself pretty enough or skinny enough to participate. I didn't think others would be interested in talking to the fat girl.  Unfortunately, many times my confidence level is directly pegged to my weight and whether or not I am able to wear the clothing I want to. 

This is what goes on in my head. To the world, I am confident. I think I am beautiful. I will continue faking it until every piece of me believes it. Even though I have a distorted view of myself, I try to remember that a size 8 is not obese. I don't take up to two seats on an airplane and I don't require a seat belt extender. If I get there, then we'll have real problems. 

While we get to that supreme confidence level, let Dita Von Teese tell you a thing or two about confidence and the proper lingerie: 

Rejected From College Because of your Facebook Profile?

http://techdirt.com/articles/20080922/0319412328.shtml
I was sent this article today and quite honestly, I'm not sure what to think. While I understand a college's desire to get to know a candidate in a different, more personal way, judging a candidate by what he or she posts on facebook feels like an invasion of privacy. Facebook is where we go to connect with our friends. I post silly pictures and say silly things on my friend's wall. It is not the way I behave in a professional setting. Take a look at my LinkedIn profile if you want proof. While I understand that the internet is one big public billboard, I'd like potential employers or college admission boards to know the distinction between public and private. Facebook is my private life. That said, please don't post pictures of yourself smoking something illegal on Facebook, or anywhere. Actually, just don't do anything illegal.